Let it go...

One thing that is important is not only keeping your time fairly free (not booking every second), but also keeping your mind/options open.

What do I mean by this?

Don't get too attached to any outcome -- because it will put you on a path where you can't see any other paths (that might wind up being nicer or better for you).

Here on our honeymoon, we had pretty much "set out" what we wanted to do for each bit of our trip. We have one "set" portion (we are going on a riverboat cruise down the St Lawrence River.) The rest of the trip we had "planned out" (including a SUPER deluxe train trip/sleeper/etc. around the outside of Nova Scotia to Quebec), etc., and we were pretty excited and "set" on what we were going to do.

Until, oh, this morning.

My James (who does the driving) said that he thought that it was going to be just a bit too hectic to do what we had wanted to do on one part of the trip -- hit an area called the "Charlevoix." We would need to get off the "fancy train" early (at about 5:00 in Quebec City, instead of 8:30 n Montreal), then we were going to do about a 300 mile "loop" through the "Flavor Trail" on Charlevoix. Being big lovers of good food and drink, this sounded fantastic.

But here we are in Nova Scotia, and though the food isn't the best -- WOW, is it ever beautiful. We're staying at a B&B that we didn't even see online -- we made a wrong turn, and kept going, winding up at the Bayview Pines Country Inn. Our hosts are lovely, and the views are just stunning. We look out over a peninsula and some islands in Mahone Bay; the inn itself is on a wonderful bucolic farmland. Our room is in the "barn" -- for about $100, we get a gourmet breakfast, plus a 2-room "suite" with a jacuzzi bath, and its own wrap-around porch facing the bay (completely with Aiderondack chairs).

So my James said this morning -- why don't we just stay here for a little while longer? Mind you, the only part of the trip I actually researched was the Charlevoix. My "Job" was to plan the wedding -- and so he gave me just that "snippet" to research and find inns to stay at, things to do, etc. Most important thing I did this morning? I didn't open my mouth, and thought about it for about 30 seconds.

Because the first thing I wanted to say was "This is the only part of the trip I actually know anything about....I spent a lot of time and effort....blah blah blah blah blah." I thought about it, and I realized that he was actually right.

We would cut about 300 miles of driving out -- and spend time in this lovely place instead. We can have the train trip without having to worry about immediately getting on the road again -- and we can have an extra day down in the Quebec City area -- which looks lovely, too.

So, instead of complaining or talking about all my "wasted effort," I said "that sounds like a good idea, tell me about what we'd do instead."

You know what? My James was so relieved. I have been living this "Bond girl lifestyle" for about a year or so full-on -- I was much more a "regular girl" before that. I would have b*tched and moaned, I would have sort of pressed to do what we were "supposed" to do, I might have had a little foot-stamping. (Just a little.)

Instead, I said -- "Good idea."

So guess what? Here I am, getting to catch up a bit on book stuff, and my James is in the other room on the other computer, re-booking our entire trip. He's finding stuff that he thinks I will really like -- he keeps coming in and saying "So, queen bed with a view of the ocean, or suite with a view of the gardens," stuff like that. The other thing that's happening is that he's booking us in nicer accommodations -- we even are staying at a spa one night. I am not sure, but he might feel a little "guilty" about "changing our plans" -- but I didn't say a word, you see.

He knows what it would be like to spend a lot of time and effort on something, and then having new plans "sprung" on him. I mean -- come on. We all do. So by NOT complaining, he is going out of his way to make the bit of the trip that will now be "new" (and not the bit I planned) really really nice.

How great is that?

So when things change -- don't hold onto your old rut, don't talk about all the "wasted time" you spent -- come on Grrl, don't make the other person "feel bad," that's all your trying to do, right? Make them "pay" for your "wasted time." Breathe, think, and then go with the flow.

You never know. You might have your motels in the Charlevoix turn into a spa outside Quebec City! :-)

xxxoooo Solitaire