Set Some Goals Now...

Here I am again, with about 15 minutes (not enough!) to write. So I thought I would jot down some thoughts here -- on starting down the Bond grrl "path."

Getting to that Bond Grrl "Lifestyle" is actually not that hard (believe it or not). It just takes putting your Bond Grrl high heeled toe on the right path.

You want to have goals -- daily if you are an employee and so actually have the ability to "plan a day" without "surprises" taking you over (which happens more if you're an independent contractor and suddenly SURPRISE you have 10 hours' worth of work that all needs to be done "now" from 3 clients) -- but definitely weekly, monthly, and then at a 6 month mark. You can have yearly goals, 3 years, 5 years -- but these are more "aspirations" (things to "aspire to") than goals per se. They are too far away to really make any difference on your life.

So what you need right this second is 4 weekly goals -- one a week, starting this week, for the next month.

Some day, I'm going to have a "Workbook" to go along with the book I'm writing -- but I need to get the book out first! The "Workbook" will have exercises that you can do each day or week that help you along with the goals. But for right now, this is going to have to "do" (smile).

Unless you have a mansion, I want your first goal for the first week to be going through every single drawer, cabinet, nook and cranny of your house. (OH NO you say. OH YES, says me!) Under the ancient principles of feng shui, if you have anything in your house that is just "dead energy," that energy is "deadening" a portion of your life. Things that are cluttered are cluttering up that portion of your life. (Feng shui believes that your house represents your "life" -- and there are 9 quadrants...Health, Wealth/Abundance, Ancestors, Children, Relationships/Love, Career, Fame, Travel/Helpful Friends, Knowledge/Learning.) You don't need to know what quadrant is where, etc. -- it's not that important for right now. What is important is touching EVERY SINGLE THING in your house -- and making sure you love ALL OF IT.

Yeah OK this is hard huh? But that's your goal for this first week. And in reality, if you put on some thumpin' toones on your MP3 player, it's not that bad. It's easier for me to do it with music, because then my emotions don't "kick in" so much when I hit something that I 'know I need to get rid of but feel I can't.' Like something that I bought because it was "cute" but I don't wear...or something someone gave to me that I am kinda attached to but that is gathering dust...stuff like that. For some reason, having "tunes on" helps to shut that part of my brain up :-)

For me, it's usually easiest to start in the kitchen. If you have kids, have them help you out if you think you can make it "fun." The goal here, remember, is to touch EVERYTHING. Anything that you haven't used or just loved in the last "season" is going to go in a pile on the floor. (If you're really organized and have bags or boxes that's easier, but get it OUT of your drawers/closets/etc.!)

I say to start in the kitchen, because usually there is a TON of stuff that is just sitting in your cabinets that you bought and "didn't eat." And you know you bought it more than 3 months ago. Grrrrrl, what do you want to put that in your body for?? I want it OUT of the cabinets. Anything that's not open, you're going to take to the local shelter. They're going to love you. And you never know -- separate out the "open" and "unopened" stuff, and take the opened stuff down as well -- shelters are so desperate these days for help, they might have some use for the open stuff too.

When I did this, it was scary how much stuff I had. Tea was a big culprit. The essential oils in tea just don't taste the same after a few months -- get rid of it. Flour. Why did you buy that whole big bag, to make one batch of cookies?? (I now purchase just enough flour in the bulk bins at the store, and keep it in the freezer until I use it, so that it's very very fresh.) Go on -- go through it ALL. Scary how much stuff we have, isn't it?

Now, sure, someone out there is going to say "BUT SOLITAIRE, we need to have 20 days' worth of canned goods in case there is an earthquake/tornado/what-have-you." If that's REALLY why you have that pile of soup gathering dust in the back of your closet, I still ask you -- when did you buy it? Do you really want to be eating something out of a can that you bought a year ago -- and was probably canned way before that? E-yew. So start eating it now and replace it out fresh -- or take it to the church/homeless shelter (do NOT FORGET A RECEIPT -- it's a tax-deductible charitable contribution!), and again keep it fresh.

Going through your drawers really does mean ALL of them. Do you need all those dishtowels? Gadgets? Magnets on the fridge? If Bond were to walk in right now and open a drawer, would you cringe?

That's not good, grrl. Because the deal here is that you are Prepared and Cool. And the only way to be that is to have touched every single thing in your house, and have a use for it NOW (or very soon), or to LOVE IT and CHERISH it. If not -- it's gotta go to charity.

There are veterinarians and humane societies looking for even socks with holes in them, to ball up as cat toys. Abused Women's Services and the Cancer Society looking for clothes. Princess Project looking for formals. Goodwill/Salvation Army for "knickknacks" -- or my favorite, "Freecycle." (This is a group, at least in my area, where you send out an email to a "list" that is basically a "come and get it" call out to subscribers -- where you ask for or offer stuff at your house for people to just get. So far, my James and I have gotten rid of ceiling fans, a big screen TV that did not work, hospital scrubs, the "extra" coffee maker, pots and pans, etc. It's the best.)

Set aside the day. Go room by room. Keep throwin' stuff into the middle of the floor :-) Keep it up -- touch EVERYTHING that you have. Love it -- or chuck it.

I said everything, right? I mean it. Makeup. All those lotions and potions under your sink in the bathroom that you bought and never used. Get'em out.

NOW, you get to have some fun. Invite some of your grrls over, yes, with the piles in the middle of all your floors. Invite them for a "peeling off the extra me" party -- heck, make them bring some bags, a bottle of wine, and some appetizers! Then 'splain to them that the things in the middle of the floor in all the rooms are things that are "fair game." If there is anything on the floor that one of your grrls GAVE to you, tell her ahead of time that you loved it, but that you need to make some room in your life, and you would LOVE it if she would like to have it in HER life since she gave it to you! (The funniest part is how often the giver gets a pout on for you giving away the "thing" but then THEY don't want it, either!)

They can take anything -- the rest is going to charity. Have fun!

That is actually your "week two" assignment -- to get rid of everything that is on the "floor" after your week one assignment! So if you do them closer together you get a REST during week 2 (laugh).

The other thing that you need to start doing starting the first day of week 1, is to keep a diary. If you do NOT keep a diary (I don't -- OK except this blog!) then it's going to be a little harder on you, if you're not "used to" doing it. But the most important thing here is that every single day, 2 times a day (so, on brushing your teeth is a good time), you write down 3 things you are "passionate about." They can be silly things. Could be your straight and lovely teeth! Could be your James....could be that it's not raining that day. Anything. The idea here is to start building a "Passion Portfolio." And don't sass me and not get started because you "don't have a diary." You can do this on sticky notes that you ultimately "paste" onto a piece of paper once you find a diary for yourself. But get started....

Also starting with week 1, you need to find 10 minutes out of every day SOMEWHERE (bus to work? lying in bed after you hit Snooze one time?) to really play your day and your life through your head, and highlight the "high" points and the good you want to come out of that day. It can be total fantasy -- but the idea here is the more you do that, the more you magnetize that good stuff "to you." It's only 10 minutes -- but it's 10 minutes solely and completely for YOU. This is very important, too. We don't find times in our busy lives for ourselves -- to really "dream" like we did as kids. Suddenly as adults, that stuff "flies out the window of our life" (that we used to daydream and "fly ourselves" through)! Picture yourself paying off your bills. Picture yourself at the gym. Picture yourself eating really nourishing food. Picture yourself hugging your James. Go for it -- dream the dream. Heck -- picture yourself on Tahiti! But get your Bond grrl juices flowing, so you can "magnetize" that dream to yourself. In short -- get up and out of your existence for a bit -- because the idea here is to ultimately be living your passion -- and often, you have to FIND your passion, first! Write down what things come to you during your 10 minutes -- even if you write down just little snippets, not the whole 'story.' So if you have this long and involved dream about doing a ballroom dancing competition, just write "ballroom competition" in the diary -- you don't have to tell the whole story there if you don't want to. (It just takes more time and getting you to "do" the 10 minutes is usually enough! (smile).)

What we're building here is what your mind -- which is going to be SO EXCITED to be let free to fantasize! -- is going to bring up for you. At the end of the month, we're going to go back through and see what your "3 passionate things" were for you, and also what your "daydreams" were about. These are HUGE clues as to what your Bond Grrl Life should be aimed towards.

If you're dreaming of a lot of "bling" -- take a look further. Where did it come from? I don't care right now if things are "realistic," but we want to see whether that's something that is in your dreams. Or is it more that you're lying on a beach? Or relaxing? Remember -- don't second guess your dreams. Let them flow.