My James and I went to the theare last night, and on the drive there, we were chatting about the whole "men are dogs" concept (from 2 posts ago). One of the things he said, which I really appreciated, was this:
He said, expect the highest from everyone -- INCLUDING yourself -- and do not settle for less.
If you live your life this way, you're certainly going to clear people out who are not operating at their "highest and best" -- tying into the last post -- people who don't help "make your heart sing." But the deal here breaks down to this -- Respect Yourself. As a Bond grrl, you are worthy of that respect. And you need to exude it!
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4 comments:
Your James sure is an intellegent man but that goes back to what you said about knowing you are the best and getting the best.
I am the type of woman that does expect the highest from everyone especially men I date but I also try to remember that no one is perfect and we all make mistakes. ....ok where was i going..... I have in my mind that I "can get" & I "will get". But that's why I've been single for a long time (well to me 4 yrs. Yes, I'm worth the best and I don't give but my best to the man that I'm involved with but,there's something in a man's mind that will make them mess up with the best woman they'll ever have. Mainly because it's all about sex with them. I sometimes I have to remind myself that I'm still fairly young (but kicking 30 in the butt!) the guys are still young especially in the mind & they are just not ready for a super Bond grrl like me.
I agree...I am with my James because I choose to be. If it doesn't out between us I would have been blessed to even known him at all. I have some grrlfriends that really feel that they need a man to complete their lives. I just don't feel that way and don't ever want to feel like that.
The poem you're going to have read at the ceremony is DEEP! It had me say woah, ohh, dang (eyes poping out my head)!
I'm really working on attracting worthy of me I thought that I was presenting myself as a resonating Bond grrl but all I'm really getting is old Married men.
You've helped me understand my James soo much better!! Thanks! I didn't think about my James' life in general compared to mine. He really has it ruff. I'm always complaining to my bestfriend about how he NEVER talks or show any emotion. I do notice that when I ask questions (not those pointy nosy ones cause when I do that he completely shut down)& show intrest in him that gets him talking. My only problem but I will work on it is, not having him as my "sounding board" why can't I come to him with those boss problems? Wont that make him feel more like the "top dog" if he can help me through it? Enough with that... I feel like I should be paying u...Please don't get no ideas cause I can't afford you!!
I swear I used to only come to work to go to the gym on my lunch now it's also to read your postings!! smile
I'll be an offical blogger Monday. Excited..
I was thinking about adding a pic of me and/or my daughter to the blogg but maybe not will I get stockers???
I mentioned you and the blogg to my James once and he had so many doubts and questions about it that I don't say anything to him any more. But I want to tell him about this one???
You are totally still young, my Bond grrl :-) But you're right, I think, often about men being young "in the mind" at an older age than women! And you're right -- men like sex. The thing is -- that often I think they think of it as "recreation." For women, sex is "seduction" -- and often about commitment. It's just a different mindset. Maybe it's the physicalness of it -- to have sex, a woman needs to let a man "into" her -- a man just needs to do some "stabbing." I'm not sure why the different mindset, but it's interesting to me.
I am glad that you don't feel you need a man to complete your life -- because you don't :-) But the thing is too -- it's nice to have that guy there. So I want to be sure, too, that in being the best Bond grrl you can be, that he somehow feels that you're unobtainable...that he has to "take you down a peg." Sometimes I see men do that. It's bizarre -- I'm not sure why...maybe it's because somehow they see that Bond grrl and they think "oh, she's the Top Dog, I better bite her on the leg."
I am glad you like that poem -- I thought that too -- I was really amazed when I found it. The whole part about the pillars having to be apart to hold up the roof was a real "a-ha" moment for me.
If you're getting old married men (LOL) then in a way that's good -- remember, those are men who know "how to make a commitment" (that's good!) it's just they already did it already (that's bad!) They think of you as a beautiful "extra" for their lives -- and what you want to be is 100% of their womanly thoughts. I'm not quite sure why it is that married men do that -- I guess they get bored at home -- and they see WOAH this hot Bond grrl and think "hey, she's hot, she is free, she will be hot and free with me!" Sometimes I see women go that direction -- and if they feel in their heart it will bring them joy then what is it for me to say? But in my mind, that man does disrespect (as you imply) to Women in general, by somehow "forgetting" his wife and going after his Bond grrl. The thing that's amazing is you see it in the paper all the time -- even Donald Trump somehow avoids the fact that his wife was his mistress....? We just have to set the firm line on those things. Again -- when you throw out your line and catch a fish, if it's not to your liking, don't be so hungry that you can't throw it back. (Good to have a sandwich in the boat LOL)
I'm glad that I gave you some insight into your James' life. It's really important to remember all that. I am so glad that "this time around" we are women -- because we really do have the best of all worlds. And it's really part of what we're here for -- to help them out because it's tough to be a guy, the way guys "have to be" in our society. As you said, when you show interest in him -- not being nosy, but just showing him that you're interested, off he will talk -- because in all honesty, I will bet you, NO ONE is showing him that attention (unless his Mom is close by). Men get starved for that. Because they are ~human.~
I understand thinking that your James can be your sounding board -- and perhaps here's the one caveat (and maybe I will write a post on this). If you believe he can SOLVE your problem -- then go ahead and use him as the sounding board. But let's take it one step at a time. You have a problem with your boss, and you ask him for advice. He loves you. He wants to protect you. What is his first reaction? To fix it! To go right on in there and give that boss a piece of his mind for being that way with his awesome Bond grrl! But....can he do that? Nope. So then he gives you some advice on how you should act AND...it's based on his Top Dog mentality (which women often operate outside). So, when he gives advice, it will be based on his standpoint...being a guy. He would "never put up with" things that you likely put up with...because as women, we have a different "tally system" than men do. Often, for men, their job is their everything. More even so than their families -- we might say that's sad, but it's just sometimes "so." What does that mean? That he might do something that would jeopardize a family situation to jockey his position in a company -- where he can get a better "top dog" status for....oh say working 50 more hours than the next guy at a project. So that might be his recommendation...whereas a grrlfriend might say to you -- "gee, how much time did you get to see your daughter this week? A job is a job, it pays your bills, do you WANT to be the top dog/work that extra 50? Lay low! Grease the wheels, and get on home? It's only a job!"
So though you're right in a way -- that using him as a sounding board on problems might help him feel that he's helping you "solve things," the thing to remember is that you need to have it be something where you actually take his advice and do what he says. (If he gives you advice and you don't follow it, what are you saying to him...?) And you also have to remember his advice comes from a male perspective, so you must be VERY CAREFUL in asking for advice, b/c if you do NOT take it -- b/c that might not work for you -- you've kinda backhanded him for giving it...you know? ("Yeah, give me advice...now I will do something else." Hmmmmmm, what does that say?)
LAUGH re no more ideas/you can't afford me. Yeah, you're right (GRIN), but I like sounding this stuff out.
That's GREAT re blogging starting on Monday! I would say not to put a photo of you and your daughter -- only because, as you surmised, if someone finds it, you never know, you might get "stalked." Also, if you want to be really free, you don't really want to put your photo, you want to use a pseudonym, because you want to be able to explore your options...and you don't want someone to find the blog and say "WHAT are YOU doing?" (laugh) That's why you get your Bond grrl name!
I don't mind if your James sees the site -- obviously so, it's here for everyone :-) Let him read it through, and see what he thinks -- if he's curious. And let him post a comment -- what the heck! The more the merrier!
S
O.K. Solitaire I have it up! I don't know what to think about it, so you gotta tell me honestly what you think.
I used part of your name as my address and I didn't think about it till now. Sorry!! I can change it if you want me to.
I guess I linked it right?? It's not long, so whenever you get a chance check it out.
http://babybondgrrl.blogspot.com
Hi Solitaire. I published my SECOND blog. I spoke about you. When you have time see if what I said about was right?? And if I should've said anything about you at all??
-thanks Merrid
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