Where "Solitaire" comes from.

"Solitaire" happens to be one of the Bond girls -- but not particularly one of my favorites. She is a Tarot reader and (Jane Seymour) is basically held a prisoner...losing her ability to tell the future when she has sex (with Bond, natch).

My actual favorite Bond girl is Pussy Galore. I just think she's fabulous. I also quite like Sylvia Trench's chutzpah in the first Bond film -- and even Honey Rider in the same. They are all feminine, but definitely empowered.

I also really like the gal who picks Bond up in the fishing boat, from Never Say Never Again -- can't remember her name actually....and Fatima Blush (same film) is probably my favorite bad Bond girl...though then again, I probably just like her outrageous fashion sense :-)

So, why am I called 'Solitaire.'? I will tell you. My fellow partner in Double Oh! crime, Allison, and I took a sensual dance (a/k/a strip for your lover) class one winter. In that class, the teacher, the fabulous Susan Bremer of Self Appeal, mentioned that a stripper/sensual dancer should have a "stage name." She went on to explain that the stage name that she suggested for us would be one that addresses our "fears" with respect to dancing for our lovers. For example, if you're afraid you're going to giggle madly, call yourself "Sultry." If you're afraid you will be too Shy, call yourself something like "Vixen."

In my case, I am always afraid of "what people think." I was feeling that very strongly...what would my James think when I (definitely NOT the 'stripper type') did a sensual dance for him, as his Valentine's Present? (I will tell you what he thought...he thought enough of it to ask me to marry him after 6 years (laugh).) ANYWAY, so of course Allison and I thought we should have Bond girl names, and though Solitaire isn't one of my favorites, her name came to mind for me -- in that the name to me means a game that one plays for ones own entertainment. So, the name, to me, signified the persona that I wanted to put on for that dance -- that I was there for MYSELF, not to "play the game with/for anyone else."

I really love the name -- though my "namesake" is not one of my all-time favorites. In finding your Bond grrl persona, I strongly suggest you pick a "stage name" for yourself -- a name that signifies what you're trying to embody in helping your inner Bond girl out.

As an example, two of the women in the sensual dance class said that they were hard-nosed business women, and that they couldn't really "turn it off" when they got to thinking about doing the dance...that what they really needed (unlike another gal who said she was afraid of giggling her way through it out of nerves) was to actually be considered way more "friendly" and "approachable." Each of them had taken this class because they actually wanted to use the dance as a "bridge" to a new "self" that they wanted with their Jameses -- that they realized that they were basically not able to "turn off" the CEO-self when they got in private.

One of them, I remember, picked the name "Lavender" -- which make her laugh every time she thought of it. She then spent the better part of the time there practicing smiling...we had to practice with one another. The other gal picked the name "Lexy" I think it was -- something like that -- because she thought that sounded "fun and girly" -- which she felt she was not and desperately thought was lacking.

Finding this name is a lot of fun -- and it helps you to look inside, and figure out what it really is that this change is going to "bring about in you."

And so that's how I became "Solitaire."