Thoughts Based on a Re-Read of Kyriazi's Book

One of my favorite life coaching books is actually Kyriazi's "How To Live The James Bond Lifestyle." I actually found it after I started writing my book -- and have had wonderful correspondence with him since. This book is a great read, and the "book on tape" version is wonderful as well (just an abbreviated version of the book itself).

I was emailing with a friend (can you tell I'm clearing out my email?), and she came up with some questions and comments based on Kyriazi's book. So I thought I would go into some detail in those answers here -- so that they're not waiting in my other email, to be turned into a book chapter "some day." (I'm also leaving on my honeymoon in a few days -- and trying to push all the chapters I still need to write into this one week. Good LUCK, yeah, I know!)

SPENDING:

My biggest bugbear is buying on credit if you're not going to pay it off -- and being in debt. This can just be a prison, as all the Debt Diet/etc. books try to explain to everyone. It seems as if folks try to “look a part” that they can’t afford, to perhaps make themselves feel better. That’s no good – one needs to be ‘fEmpowered’ from the inside, out.

I think too that if you do things like eat one amazing Godiva chocolate instead of 10 Hershey's bars, you will get a bigger "bang for the buck" and feel more "prosperous." I had champagne by myself the other day in a "celebratory" luncheon, and it was the SAME price as the wine, but I felt ‘special’ all day because of it. Another thing that I did at that lunch in fact was leave the waiter an outrageous tip (it was a $20 tab and I left $10), rather than going out and buying myself....what? Not even something good....what can you REALLY buy for $10? But, I KNEW that I had left an "aura" with that waiter and I felt totally cool about that too. I just sat there, was catered to, read Brides' magazine ate salad, and had a glass of champagne. It really was good.

Just spending time (not money!) in high-class locations can be a way to upgrade your life. You can order bubbly water and just relax and watch people, and hang -- or if you are so inclined, a glass of champagne, and sip. Ordering champagne actually makes everyone look at you with a "what is ~she~ celebrating" look. Then you get the little cat-ate-the-canary look and honestly, all sorts of folks around you will start smiling every time they looked at you – as just happened to me at lunch – the other “lunch-ers, the waiter, etc.! (Then again, I was reading a Brides' mag so they might have put 2 and 2 together (though I was celebrating the interview going well, but so be it).)

TRAVEL:One of the best chapters in Kyriazi’s book has to do with how to handle swanky hotels, tipping, and such. A Bond girl needs to pack light, know how to use a valet, and the like – and an etiquette class (they offer them at The Learning Annex!) will go far towards helping you to feel confident in more upscale situations.

PURSES/WALLETS:
Kyriazi talks about not only having a money clip with cash separate from a wallet, but also about having a specific attitude toward spending and actually handling money. In my view, it’s important to “plan to shop” rather than doing so impulsively, especially in an “emotional” moment. As a corollary to Kyriazi’s “money clip and wallet,” though, I also stress that women should not have purses packed like they are going to Anapurna for a month. Part of becoming ‘fEmpowered’ is paring down all the "contingencies" in a purse so that you don't look like someone off Let's Make A Deal (of course, that dates me ). The "brick purse" thing is awful, ruins the line of clothing (if a shoulder bag), and makes you look less "cool" In fact, I had an interview the other day . . . I had taken my car key off and put it in my pocket, a credit card, my driver’s license, and $20. The rest I locked in my car. The gal was "AMAZED" that I was there that way -- and I know it made a huge impression. Oh, and I had a pen, and of course my Blackberry. She even mentioned it to my next interviewer – pointing out how “sleek and prepared” I was, and how I ‘didn’t even carry a purse.’ I thought that was very interesting!

In fact, a slimmed down purse could be the Bond Girl’s “symbol of power” – like Kyriazi suggests a new watch or an attaché case.

SAVINGS:
After getting out of debt (not before, the “math” doesn’t work otherwise), it’s important for a Bond girl to have a special fund for positive contingencies. Like going to Paris J This is the “pay yourself first” concept – the first thing should be paying down debt, second paying all money that you can towards retirement (it’s coming sooner than you think), and then of the rest of the money, taking 10% and socking it away towards something positive. I also personally save 10% to give to charity – that’s personal, but I also think that having a wider world view is a wonderful thing.

FOOD AND EXERCISE:
Don’t be a fanatic – but be able to hold your own. You want to feed your body for the wonderful and EXPENDIBLE thing it is . . . if you feed it crap, it’s going to be like trying to make a car go on watered down gas.

I had a friend visiting the other day, who was from the city, and doesn’t really do much walking. She walked my dog to the end of the road and back – and had to rest for like 2 hours. The one thing I can say about Food and Exercise is – you know you ‘should do it.’ So, do it. Don’t eat junk food, don’t tell me you’re “too busy” to eat right. The book I currently really like is “French Women Don’t Get Fat” – she talks about how French women really enjoy their food – really TASTE it, and walk everywhere. Being a Bond girl is preparedness, health, enjoyment, energy, zest. Being able to do what's asked for. As a start, that means things like parking farther away from your destination and walking part way . . . just "be active."

CYCLES:
Though in going through your closet the first time you do know what to get rid of (and you should), often there will be some “old faithfuls” in there that you think that you will wear. Therefore, if you want to be a bit easier on yourself, separate your clothes into “seasons” – and make yourself a promise that if, at the end of a “season,” you haven’t worn a certain outfit, you need to pass it along. When the season changes, you should also check each outfit for tears, stains, and the like – and you do need to be merciless. Remember – you can’t fill a full cup. Meaning – there is only so much room in your life for clothes (no matter what your girlfriend with 200 shoes might think). So clear some out that are just “dead energy” to you – and make room for something wonderful that will be more like the new Bond girl “you.”

BE INTERESTING: LISTEN
Some of the most 'desirable' women that I know are desirable because they know how to listen. They aren't "knock out" gorgeous, but by really listening, they have something that can be better (and last, if something “happens” to their looks . . . oh, like age!). Being “listened to” is an enormous turn-on -- and is something to cultivate as a Bond girl.

BEING ON TIME
This is not something I'm normally good at, but Bond Grrls certainly show up on time to help save the day, provide the crucial information, or whatever. It's one of the reasons for not overscheduling. If you keep space between your appointments, you're not only less frazzled, but less likely to be late. Plan for getting lost, or stuck in traffic. Time how long it actually takes to get out of the house. (I'm terrible with that "one last thing" bit, myself.) You should be the master of your schedule (and things like your email box), not vice versa. What this means is find out what is your biggest time-waster – and then corral it. If it’s email – then tell yourself that you will read email from 2-3 each day, and that’s it. If people ~think~ that you will answer right away, they will come to expect it – then your life gets run on ‘their’ time. Of course, certain things in your schedule can’t be changed – a boss’s meeting, or maybe picking your kids up at school – but those things usually aren’t the ones that are the problem. It’s getting on the phone, or watching TV, or doing email. Corral some of these things, to “make room” for your life.

Speaking of being on time (and overscheduling), one good reason not to overcommit is the difficulty of keeping all those commitments! You should be able to keep commitments, and also factor in the time to write a hand-written thank you for the nice things people do for you each day. As a matter of discipline, I try to write five handwritten notes a day. People are so shocked, they will keep these notes at their desks – and remember your kindness. Though you might dash off a “thanks!” email, it’s just going to go into their “Recycle Bin” on their computer, after a quick smile. Be memorable.