Cancelling and Re-scheduling

I heard a seminar by a really funny guy a while back. It had to do with wine -- and being "comfortable" with wine/wine tasting/etc. He was great.

One of the things that he suggested was that EVERYONE, on their next bottle of wine that they order, should "send the bottle back" after they taste it.

(Yeah, I gasped too when I heard that.)

He said you can't do this with a GLASS of wine, but if you order a bottle, and you don't like it, you have just taken the tiniest little sip out of the top of it (because at a good restaurant, of course, they let you taste it). The restaurant can always sell it by the glass, or behind the bar. So what he said is to send it back, saying basically "no, that's not going to go with the food, I'm sorry but we'll have the X instead."

If the waiter freaks out (which he probably will), say that you would like to speak with the manager, and then just explain that you know that s/he will understand, but the wine isn't actually to your liking, and so you know they can sell it behind the bar, so you'd rather have (the other brand).

Now you're going to ask me if we've been brave enough to try this yet, and we haven't (smile). But I thought I'd use it as an analogy with the whole cancelling/re-scheduling thing.

If you have said "Yes" to a bunch of obligations that you realize you are looking "forward to being over" instead of looking "forward to," then it's time to call and cancel. No excuses. If they ASK for an excuse, just say that you overfilled your commitments accidentally. Don't LIE (you know, that it's your mother's funeral...again....(laugh)). Obviously, you don't want to leave anyone in the "lurch" -- just like the wine analogy, there is no way for them to resell a GLASS of wine that you have tasted, so you've left them with a deficit by rejecting it (if it didn't have like a fly in it or something). But if it's something where they're not "counting on you" to do whatever it is -- get out of it if you're not all hot and juiced to do it.

Give it a try -- this is a real Achilles' heel for some folks (me included). I just did this today, in fact -- that's why it's on my mind. I went to the gym and worked out this morning, then coming home, I realized that I was just not going to be able to do what I had planned for the day. Which was a lot! So, I called, apologized, and cancelled. NONE of these were things where someone was "counting on me" -- my office meeting, a lunch with a friend, swimming with a friend, a class, and two other appointments. I called them all off, and came home and slept for like 5 hours!

Listen to yourself -- and at least from now ON, don't "order" something you know that you're doing to "please others" or "make their life easier" or (et cetera). Only put something on your "plate" that you're juiced about, if you can help it. I know, some stuff is going to be on there that isn't your favorite -- I have some work to do right now that I'm procrastinating about too (smile). But the idea is the more you do this, the less of that plate will have "mushy peas" on it (I hate mushy peas), and the more nice juicy steak and crunchy salad -- and even dessert -- that will be on there for you.

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm guess who must be hungry? LAUGH