Why a Bond Grrl...and Why Now?

I had a very interesting conversation with a gentleman at a networking "thing" that I do at the end of each month. He asked what I was up to, and I said that I was still doing the law thing, but (since he's never going to be a client, I figured, what the heck) I mentioned about the fEmpowerment thing. He was intrigued.

His response to using a Bond grrl as a "paradigm" was "Why would women of the 21st Century want to use a sex symbol/bimbo from the 60s as a paradigm?" I laughed, and said "Well, a Bond grrl has her own job, that she's passionate about. But she also knows how to be part of a team where she is NOT the leader. Give me another woman figure that fits that bill -- and is also undeniably sexy and desirable to boot."

After a bit of hemming and hawing, and pointing out the throw-away "bimbos" that do show up in Bond films (You know the ones -- the ones without some job they're passionate about, who wind up just going "Oh James" and swooning and get about 5 minutes of air time), he wound up agreeing it was an "intriguing" paradigm to use.

We started talking a bit about the whole "#1 at being #2" concept that a Bond grrl has, too. I told him that in my experience, if someone is a leader in one aspect of their life, they wind up trying to "lead" in most other areas -- or being unable to really follow. In other words, they try to 'back lead" (to use a ballroom metaphor, of when a woman tries to get the man to do what she wants).

This is not what a Bond grrl does. When it comes to a situation where she is not leading, she is absolutely committed to following/supporting. I think that this is becoming a lost art. I particularly think this is a lost art in the manner of personal relationships. I have said this before, but I'll say it again -- men don't have anyone in their lives they can go to when they have "a hurt paw" -- except their significant other. Women, on the other hand, always have their grrlfriends to go to. If a man goes to his "guys," they're like a dog pack. He will be "one down" from then on. If a grrl goes to her grrlpack, she's "sharing." And everyone usually sort of forgets about it later.

If you treat your James like #1, really listening, rubbing his stomach, flattering him (not lying, just flattering), giving him treats, etc. -- he's going to be there for you. Yeah, now you're going to say "so, why can't he do that to ME?" Because you should be strong enough to be doing this for yourself. Are you vain? Men are vain (tho they will never admit it). You will hold them in the palm of your hand if you just give them that attention 10-15 minutes out of the day. AND -- listen -- if your James WERE to give you that attention, would you ACCEPT IT? Or would, when he says "baby, you are so sexy," you say back "oh, but doesn't my butt look fat?" THIS is the way to train someone to NOT compliment you (hello). So if you get a few out of him -- say THANK YOU (and give him one back). NO MORE of this "self-deprecating" stuff like "oh...you think so?" That's just you fishin'. Knock it off.

So a new month is coming -- have you gotten started on your Bond grrl self? Have you written down some goals -- for the week, for the month, for the next 3 months? Have you taken a deep breath, and started plotting your full-house/closet/car/desk clean? If you did one already, is it time to do it again? Things accumulate! Anything that's not part of your Bond grrl life's gotta go. What about having a "give-away" party with your grrls? You need to make space for your new Bond grrl self to sashay on in!